MATT DAMON TO GIVE ALL HIS MONEY TO GOVERNMENT

HOLLYWOOD – In what could  be a new celebrity trend, Matt Damon,  announced he will give all his future earnings to the U.S. government.

Matt Damon believes that the rich are not taxed enough.  He believes that the tax rate on wealthy Americans should be at least 80%.  “England has the right idea, the wealthy should give almost all of their money to the government, so that wealth is spread around.”

Damon has come under fire from some on the right wing, but Damon has put his money where his mouth is.  “I am going to give 100% of my future earnings on all money I make from every source, to the government.  I trust the government to use the money in better was than I could.

Damon is reportedly worth over $200 million.  He will hold on to that money – and vows to keep most of it in bank accounts in Switzerland, but anything that he earns from now on will go to the government.

Democratic leaders applauded Damon’s “contribution” and urged all Americans who make over $250,00 a year to donate any money they make over that amount to the U.S. Government.  “If Americans gave 100% of their salaries – over $250,000 – to the government – we could wipe out our debt in ten years,” said Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi, however, will not be donating any money to the government.  “I have too many grandchildren.  They all need money for college.”

Damon has asked Bono of U2 to join him in “donating” to his country.  Bono is currently “hiding” most of his money outside of Ireland and has come under fire from Irish citizens for doing so.  “Bono could make a $2 billion gift to Ireland tomorrow, and I think he should.  Governments help people, we need to support them, ” Damon said.

Here’s a recent video of Damon talking about the rich paying their  fair share:

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EARTH’S SECOND MOON APPEARS!

BUSBY -  Residents of this small Australian town were shocked to see two full moons
in sky!

Tonight, there’s a full moon in Busby, Australia.  Many residents were admiring it when at 1:20 a.m., local time, a second moon rose in the night sky.  Residents couldn’t believe what they were seeing!

Astronomers across the world were alerted to this sighting and have confirmed the existence of a second earth moon.  “We have never seen anything like this before,” said researcher Rich Montano at the University of California, Los Angeles. “There had been some rumors that a second moon was seen over Hong Son, Thailand  in 1967, but it was only seen for a few hours and only in that one location, but now everyone across Australia can see the second moon.  It’s awe-inspiring.”

Residents of Los Angeles, and the rest of the world, will be able to see the second moon with the naked eye as night falls.  Busby residents are out in the streets staring up in wonder at the second moon. “It’s exciting, but also frightening,” said Carol McNulty of Busby. “It’s so beautiful, but what does it mean?  Why did the second moon appear tonight?  Why?”

“End of times” fanatics are already saying that the appearance of a s second moon is signaling that the world will end.  “This was predicted in the prophecy of Nostradamus in the 16th Century,”  said Nostradamus expert Fred Desmarais of Lyon, France. “This is the quatrain he wrote predicting the second moon:

In the sky a second light will rise
Bring back the great King of Angolmois
And with Toulouse, ten years after the shining
Across the earth shall come the great flame”

Demarais said that the rise of the second moons meant that within ten years of the second moon sighting, “the earth will turn into a ball of flame.” He  was on a flight to Busby to speak with local residents and gather more information about this major event.

Others in Australia believe this second moon is a hoax of some sort.  “I bet that magician David Blaine is behind this.  It’s the only explanation,” said Roger McMahon of Sydney.  WWN tried to contact  David Blaine, but he was not available.  He was finishing his second month stuffed inside a refrigerator.

NASA astronomers are studying the second moon carefully.  The powerful Japanese telescope, the Subaru, is also focused on the second  moon.  When asked to explain this phenomenon the head of NASA’s Lunar Science Division had this simple statement, “We don’t know.  We are studying it, but it has us all baffled.”

While NASA astronomers are trying to solve this mystery, go out tonight and look at the second moon!

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BLOOD LAKE

TEXAS – a reservoir in West Texas turned blood-red in recent weeks — what’s left of it anyway.

Due to unrelenting drought in Texas, the lake has almost entirely dried up, leaving thousands of dead fish behind. As of the last week in July, bacteria had turned the stagnant dregs of the lake red.

Many in Texas believes that this “blood lake” signifies the End of the World.

It is End Times?  Or  did the lake turn red because a drought has left the OC Fisher Reservoir in San Angelo State Park in West Texas almost entirely dry. The water that is left is stagnant, full of dead fish — and a deep, opaque red.

The color has some apocalypse believers suggesting that OC Fisher is an early sign of the end of the world, but Texas Parks and Wildlife Inland Fisheries officials say the bloody look is the result of Chromatiaceae bacteria, which three in oxygen-deprived water.

“It’s just heartbreaking,” said Charles Cruz, a fish and wildlife technician with Texas Parks and Wildlife in San Angelo, Tex.

Texas is experiencing a major drought this summer, with 75 percent of the state’s area in an “exceptional” drought, the highest level, according to the National Drought Mitigation Center (NDMC). The state had hoped for some relief from Tropical Storm Don last week, but the system fizzled and brought only an inch or two of rain to areas near the coast.

The drought has taken its toll on a number of reservoirs in West Texas, Cruz told LiveScience. OC Fisher has never been completely full, Cruz said, but it was stocked with catfish, bass, sunfish and other popular targets for fishermen.

“We surveyed the lake, I believe it was last year, and we had a pretty good fish population out there,” Cruz said. “It was pretty sickening going out there, watching lake levels just drop and drop and drop and seeing these nice trophy-sized bass just floating dead.”

End times predictions

As of last week, all that remained of the lake was a small pond a few feet deep, Cruz said. There were thousands of dead fish, he said, but no sign of life.

Pictures of this blood-red pool circulated online in fishing forums and caught the notice of Indiana preacher Paul Begley, who said that the lake might be evidence of the apocalypse as predicted by the Biblical book of Revelation.

“The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead person, and every living thing in the sea died,” the passage Begley cited reads. “The third angel poured out his bowl on the rivers and springs of water, and they became blood.”

Begley may not have any more luck at predicting the end of the world than did Harold Camping, the radio preacher who set the date for May 21, 2011. But for as long as the drought persists, the OC Fisher reservoir is a reservoir no longer.

“I don’t know what’s left in there now. We haven’t been back,” Cruz said. “But I would guess it’s probably pretty much gone already.”

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FORBES COLLEGE RANKINGS: UNJ is #1

NEW YORK – Forbes released its list of the best colleges in America. The University of New Jersey is #1.

Forbes released its list on Thursday and the findings surprised many across the country.  The University of New Jersey was ranked #1.  The 2,500 students of this private liberal arts college nestled in the heart of downtown Camden enjoy a 5-to-1 student-to-faculty ratio and one of the lowest average student debt loads in the nation, according to Forbes magazine.  The University of New Jersey is often confused with Rutgers University, which is the state university of New Jersey.

This is the first year that the University of New Jersey beat in-state rival Princeton University (ranked 17) for the bragging rights of New Jersey. UNJ has quietly become one of the nation’s most prestigious, and successful universities.  “I was accepted into Harvard and Stanford, but after I came to Camden and saw all that UNJ had to offer, it was an easy decision,” said Cheryl Wozniak, a freshman from San Diego. “The research facilities here are far better than anything I saw at M.I.T or Stanford,” said Robert Blanton a graduate engineering student from Seattle.

Look at vibrant, downtown Camden:

The ranking suggests that high-cost colleges and universities are among the best in overall value, in terms of how well graduates perform in the job market, and how much debt they leave with.  Many of these schools have made great efforts to reduce the level of debt incurred by their students. The University of New Jersey and Williams have replaced all student loans from the colleges with grants.

Forbes, which worked with the Center for College Affordability and Productivity to compile the list, says it sought to determine which colleges best met students’ needs, rather than which came with the best reputation. This is the third year the list was created. The lists’ creators considered graduates’ success in their chosen career field; their average salaries; the schools’ retention and graduation rates; and student evaluations of their professors and classes, as well as the cost of the institution and amount of debt upon graduation.

University of New Jersey graduates have fared well.  Two Supreme Court Justices – Antonin Scalia and newly confirmed Elena Kagan – both earned their undergraduate degrees at UNJ.  Donald Trump, Steve Jobs and Howie Mandel also attended the University.

Meryl Streep and Bruce Springsteen received an honorary degree from UNJ at last May’s commencement.   Stephen Hawking gave the commencement speech.

The owner/publisher of Forbes Magazine, Steve Forbes, who hails from Morristown, NJ had attended UNJ in the 60s but never graduated.  Last December he finally got his degree in Finance.  “I never finished, I just went right to work for my Dad.  But this UNJ degree means more to me than anything I’ve done in my life,” said Forbes.

Here’s Forbes Top 20 Colleges:

1.    University of New Jersey
2.    Williams College
3.    Georgetown University
4.    Wesleyan University
5.    Massachusetts Institute of Technology
6.    Santa Monica College
7.    Swarthmore
8.    Oberlin College
9.     Harvard University
10.   Hillsdale College
11.   Stanford University
12.   Harvey Mudd College
13.   Yale University
14.   Bowling Green University
15.   Texas Women’s University
16.   University of Chicago
17.   Princeton University
18.   Rice University
19.   City University of New York
20.   University of Bridgeport

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BUY YOUR OWN UFO!

NEW YORK -  The world is in crisis.  Now is the time to head for another planet.  Buy a UFO and go!

With the US market on the brink, Weekly World News has decided to enter into a new business line, the manufacture and sale of spaceships. this is not a joke.

It’s only a matter of time before the entire world economy collapses.  Climate change may destroy our planet AND… aliens have begun a mass invasion.   What can you do?

Buy a spaceship and get outta here!

Browse WWN website store for the right spaceship for you:

There’s no reason to panic.  There are other planets where the economy is good, there are plenty of jobs and… the grass is greener.

No need to worry anymore.  No need to panic about finances or incompetent leaders and government.   It’s time to live… on another planet!

Prices range from $3 to 15 million.  President Obama has made it easy to purchase a spaceship.  You can put it on a special U.S. Government Credit Card.   Essentially, you will be paid to leave Earth.

Buy one and… go!

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VAMPIRE KILLS RUSSIAN LIVESTOCK

NOVOSIBIRSK – A vampire has been killing thousands of goats in Russia.

A blood-sucking vampire is preying upon goats near Novosibirsk. As rational explanations run thin on the ground, the specter of the vampire raises its demon head.

Horrified farmers and smallholders are confronted by the drained corpses of their livestock in the morning, bloodless and bearing puncture marks to the neck but otherwise largely in tact.

But local cops are reluctant to record apparent vampire attacks, as they await official recertification, leaving the locals up in arms.

“If this creature is not stopped it could make its way to Novosibirsk! Only our police force are doing jack-diddly about it,” complaining locals told Komsomolskaya Pravda. “They say that there is no vampire. Come if you will journalists, have a look at what is happening to us.”

Local animal keeper Natalya told of her experiences.

“It’s been happening since the night of June 10,” she told WWN. “I was sleeping, my daughter was sitting at the computer looking at the internet. She says that about 2.00 am she heard a sound in the yard. Some whining.

“The dog which guards the farm screamed for 15 minutes and then quietened down. The dog’s behavior drew the attention of my daughter Natalie, but she didn’t think it was important. She thought that if a stranger had come to the house then the dog would bark. And here it was more like whining, you think of howling at the moon.

“In the morning it became clear why the dog had been howling. I got up and went to the barn to milk the goats. I looked and saw right on the doorstep a goat with its neck thrown back unnaturally. On the neck there was something like a bite mark, the belly was torn, and there were huge claw marks. I came over bad and started screaming, I ran to the house to see the children were alright,” she said.

Whatever killed the goats never tried to eat the flesh, it just drank its victim’s blood.

Natalya’s news of a vampire spread like wildfire among residents of Krasnoginnoe village, then it became clear that nearby Tolmachevskoye and Chick villages had also been afflicted.

The blood-suckers had targeted cattle in Tolmochevskoye. “It’s come from the devil. I’ve seen it. My brother, even when he lived near St Petersburg seven years ago accidently photographed a vampire. He took the usual family picture and then saw the demonic face through the kitchen window. Grey-red it was, such an unpleasant face, like a bat with fangs,” Natalie’s uncle Viktor Shushpanov told KP.

“My brother showed me this photograph and upon the advice of his family he burned it,” he said.

“All the people are scared, they fear that the creature will move onto children,” the head of the village said. “We have organized night patrols of six people. We walk through the village, on the look out for this wickedness. But so far we have had no results.”

While hopes for speedy retribution are fast diminishing the beast has turned out to be a boon to troubled parents, presenting a very useful threat for naughty children.

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OBAMA TURNS 50

CHICAGO – Barack Obama turned 50 today.  He joined AARP and got his discount card.

President Barack Obama turns 50 today.  At his birthday party last night he proudly waved his new AARP card.

BUT, AARP has rejected President Obama’s membership.

AARP President, Maura Malley said, “We have supported President Obama and are thankful for the $20 billion he gave us to help get Obamacare passed, but we don’t want him in our organization because man of our members said that if we let him in they would leave.  We had no choice. But AARP backs him in 2012!”

AARP ripped up the President’s discount card.  The President didn’t mind, “I’m too young to be in AARP anyway.  That’s for old people with low IQs.”

At President Obama’s birthday party at a glitzy ballroom in Chicago he was entertained by jazz man Herbie Hancock, R&B singer Jennifer Hudson, OK Go, a Chicago rock band and Beyonce came onstage in a string bikini and sang “Happy Birthday” to the President.

Michelle Obama stormed out of the hall.

The President didn’t mind – he just sipped his $5,000 a glass champagne and ate caviar that Vladmir Putin prepared himself.

“Putin has a carp farm and is quite good with caviar” said the President.  “I love the way he salts his caviar.”

The President said that even though the economy is tanking, he thinks the nation should take time out and “go shopping” on his birthday.  “We are on the road to a big recovery and we all need to spend more money,” the President told his supporters.

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